Turning Inward To Move Forward
My goal going into the holidays was to wake up on January 1st and not be exhausted. And I did it! I had a wonderful time with my husband and kids, saw some friends, and still had some time for myself. I was present with my family in a way I cannot recall in recent years. Given this, I fully expected to hit the ground running in January. But what I found was the opposite.
Instead, I felt a strong pull to go inward, physically I felt lethargic, I wanted to hunker down, and I desired quieter activities. I thought to myself, January is like midlife!
January & Midlife
The start to the new year can be invigorating and a time for setting big goals. But it is also a time to rest and regroup after the craziness and excesses of the holidays, much like midlife is an opportunity to pause, reflect on the busyness (think kids, jobs, marriage, etc.) of the first half of our lives, and make changes to how we live the second half of our lives.
Reflection is a powerful tool, and perhaps one which our society does not value as much as it should. Inwardly focused contemplation is how we learn from past mistakes, make sense of the trail of breadcrumbs which led to our present circumstances, and become clear on our motivations, desires, and goals. It is these reflections which give direction and create the foundation for the second half of our lives.
Time For Regeneration
Like fields left dormant in the winter, taking time to rest and not push as hard is important. It is time to let ideas germinate beneath the surface, out of sight, and organically. For like soil, which is replenished when left fallow, taking time to rest is when we reenergize, nourish our souls, and rebuild the capacity for future endeavors.
I know I need this period of regeneration as in addition to wanting to go inward, I feel less energetic, I desire to be at home, and I crave “quiet” activities. So, like the short, dark, cold days of January which I must accept, rather than push through these feelings, I am embracing them and allowing myself “to be” with them.
For example, I seem to need more sleep. Where I normally wake up around 6, I have been waking up at 7. I know this will not last forever, and if I get a few less things done each morning for a few weeks, so be it. And that big, long to-do list which I pride myself on tackling each day? I am refusing to rush around in a vain attempt to accomplish everything on a list which is never-ending. Instead, I am tackling the 1-3 items which must get done and letting the others languish or perhaps fall off the list altogether.
I also find myself craving coziness. I want soups instead of smoothies (too cold!), warm, hearty dinners rather than salads, and never-ending cups of tea. I love that it has done nothing but rain or snow in Northern California for the last couple of weeks as I am happy to bundle up in sweaters, coats, and boots.
My normal inclination is to be outside as much as possible. But now I want to be inside nestled by the fire. I want to spend my free time reading, journaling, cooking, and playing cards. And I’m going all in on these as I know as soon as the days get warmer and longer, I will feel the pull to be outside once again.
So, while it is here, I am going to embrace all that January and midlife have to offer, as soon they will both be gone. In doing so, I hope I can be more present and gain some insights for building a purposeful, second half of my life. The winter solstice, which occurs in late December, is a celebration of the “sun’s rebirth.” From that date on, we are in fact moving toward the light and toward the warmer, sunnier, and longer days of Spring. The second half of life is much like spring, a time for new beginnings and a chance to pursue dormant dreams and goals, but first we must get through January.
Parting Thought
“Like the soil, the mind is fertilized while it lies fallow, until a new burst of bloom ensues.” ~John Dewey
To be continued…
