The No Regrets Tour
I have just returned from Burning Man, an experience which imbues my life with added richness and vibrancy. It truly is a megadose of awe and wonder, which as I have written about in the past is critical for successfully navigating both midlife and life in general.
Every time I go, I am amazed at how the experience can be so different. What they say is true, the Playa knows what you need. I probably should not be surprised that my takeaways from this year’s burn reflect the inwardly focused path I have been on these past few years.
While I will get to some of the other takeaways, an important one regards this newsletter. Going forward I will be publishing on a less regular cadence than you might have gotten used to. I will aim to publish 3 times per month, but if on any given Thursday Holos does not pop up in your inbox, do not worry!
This is intended to provide mental space and physical time for other projects and to ensure every issue you receive is genuine and not driven by an artificial deadline.
As I think about the direction of Holos, I would love if you would take 1-2 minutes and email me at karyn@holos50.com to let me know 1) what you like about Holos, 2) what value it adds to your life, and 3) any suggestions for improvement. Bullet points and incomplete sentences are completely acceptable!
The Temple
The Temple on the playa is Burning Man’s soul. It is a “gathering spot for those seeking solace and respite during Burning Man…it is a sanctuary for all, no matter your religion, spiritual inclination, or lack thereof. It is where people come together on the playa to honor what is important to them and to their community.”
For many it is also a place to seek and find closure following a loss of some sort. This comes not only by contributing something or visiting but ultimately when it is burned on the final night, the Sunday of Labor Day weekend, in a moment of silence.
In the past, for me the Temple was a place of respite, quiet reverence, and honestly a place of gratitude. In my prior burns, I felt immense gratitude that I had not “needed” the Temple in a deeper way. I still found my time there incredibly moving, but at the same time blessed I was not looking for closure. But this year was different.
My mom died just before Covid. During her brief hospital stay, I hung poster board in her room and asked every visitor to jot down what they loved and appreciated about her…a final gift to her before she died. My intent was to take these posters to Burning Man the following year, to be burned with the Temple. But Covid had other plans for my timeline and thus a 3-year hiatus with these posters rolled up in a closet.
And so, last Tuesday afternoon, with my husband and two close friends in tow we rode out to the Temple. I placed the posters and we shared some funny stories as we celebrated my mom’s life with a bottle of champagne. I finally had my closure, as well as a reminder of the importance of rituals and pausing to remember. Surrounded by deep friendship and immense love it was perfect.
But surprisingly, this was not all the Temple had to offer to me this year.
Words to Live By
Walking around the Temple, especially later in the week, you cannot help being moved by the deeply personal thoughts, prayers, memories, and shared messages covering the walls. This year, while wandering around the Temple after celebrating my mom, I came across a note which has stayed with me. Written about an older man who had passed, it said at the age of 62, he had decided to live the rest of his life as the “No Regrets Tour.”
These words resonated deeply. Here was the overarching guidance I have been seeking as a direction for the rest of my life. As I continue to reflect on these words, I realize living life in such a way is all about living a values-driven life.
I am deeply grateful for these words.
Timing
Timing is everything. If Burning Man had happened last year, this man’s time to be remembered may not yet have come. If I had gone to the Temple a day earlier, these words may not have been put up yet.
I also think the time of year makes a difference. I was in the right frame of mind to read those words. I was ready to leave the chaos, the travel, and the erratic schedule of summer behind. I am ready for more structure, a routine, to think about my goals, and to continue looking for answers to life’s bigger questions.
Execution
Structure is vital to achieving one’s goals. To some structure might seem constraining, but to me it is opportunity for progress and ironically, freedom. I remember when my kids were babies. I had them on a strict sleep schedule. One of the biggest benefits was I could plan out my day and knew when I could get things done.
As I begin to think about what is on my No Regrets Tour list, I am also blocking out time in my calendar, in the same way I do for work. While I have done this in the past, I haven’t protected the time as zealously as work time. I have somehow not prioritized it in the same way. This is crazy as these other “things” are my life.
For all I know, today could be my last day. Shouldn’t I be living it to its fullest?
Parting Thought
I share these reflections today as perhaps the idea of a “No Regrets Tour” will resonate with you as well. I leave you with this quote from Seneca.
"You live as if you were destined to live forever, no thought of your frailty ever enters your head, of how much time has already gone by you take no heed. You squander time as if you drew from a full and abundant supply, though all the while that day which you bestow on some person or thing is perhaps your last." ~Seneca
To be continued…
