Not Everything Is A Life Lesson
This past April I had a total knee replacement on my right knee. Seemed like a good idea at the time given the advanced arthritis in my knee and I am hoping that 6 months from now it will still seem like a good idea. Right now the jury is out.
I say this because the last 4 months have been tough both mentally and physically. The toughest thing I have gone through. There has been pain, loneliness, lack of sleep, frustration, and boredom. And as much as I would like this behind me, I am pretty sure my husband would like it even more.
For the past 4 months there have been many moments when it seems like my whole life is about my right knee. It was in one of these moments that I realized if it wasn’t my knee, it could very well be something else, because shit happens, especially by the time you are 53. Whether it is from poor lifestyle choices, an accident, genetics (the underlying cause of my knee issue), or a byproduct of aging, at some point we will all have to deal with some form of physical ailment, big or small.
So What To Do
One thing has become clear. Not everything we go through is a life lesson. Some things just suck and have to be endured. My recovery from knee surgery falls in this category. As I thought more about this, I tried to piece together the strategies I am using to keep my sanity and to motivate myself to do yet one more set of heel slides (if you don’t know what these are, lucky you).
I share these in case they are helpful to you now or in the future.
Practice gratitude. Daily I remind myself of all my body parts which do work and to not take my overall good health for granted.
Readjust expectations as necessary. It takes time to heal. People told me it would take a year to fully recover. I did not believe them. But I believe them now and readjusting my expectations about my recovery (embracing that it might take me 12 months to fully recover) has been critical to my mental health.
Practice good lifestyle habits. I believe you can positively influence healing by eating well, prioritizing sleep, and following your doctor’s and physical therapist’s instructions. These are also actions you can control while waiting for your body to heal itself, the timing of which you cannot control. And while the impact of good habits might be hard to measure, I guarantee you that bad habits will not help!
Recognize some situations in life just require grinding it out. As I said above, not everything is a life lesson. Some circumstances involve a little (or a lot) of suffering and require you to put your head down and persevere, one step at a time.
Be present. It does no good to worry about the future. I have to keep reminding myself of this as I can get caught up in my fear of having to re-do my knee or live in constant pain forever. Do not make the mistake of thinking just because it hurts today means it will hurt tomorrow.
Find distractions. Embrace activities which distract you, even if only for a few minutes, from thinking about the pain or anything related to your injury. For me this is writing, reading, meditating, watching TV, or talking and laughing with friends.
Be honest with yourself and others. It is OK to admit you are frustrated, demoralized, down, lonely, or scared. And no one should suffer alone. But don’t let yourself dwell here…embrace the feelings, sit with them for a bit, and then move on. See #1 above.
Healing is not a competition. Each of us heals in our own time. You can positively influence the outcome through your actions and behaviors but at the end of the day, it takes the time it takes. As a competitive, over-achiever type this one is hard for me!
Remember to celebrate the little wins and milestones even if they seem insignificant.
Parting Thought
I think this pretty much sums it up. Now back to grinding it out.
To be continued…
