Is This Worth It?
I was getting my eyebrows dyed the other day and I found myself wondering, “Is this worth it?” By which I meant, “Is all the effort I spend on being my “best self” worth the time, money, and pain?” At what point do say, “Enough!” After all, each of us has finite amounts of time and money.
I know there is no right answer. It is personal. But answering this question is hard because I have never really sat down to think about it. And as I have started to ask this question, I realize I am more influenced by societal norms than I would like to admit.
We all have our reasons. You can say you do it for work, to not look tired, to be your best self, etc. But at the end of the day, coming to terms with aging is hard. I know this is true for myself. Inside I feel like I am 32 (and this might never change), and then I look in the mirror and quickly realize I am not even close to 32 and that with every passing day I am further and further from 32 year-old Karyn!
I have decided the only way to answer this question is to once again get clear on my values. What really matters to me? Where do I feel good about spending time and money and putting in the effort? What are truly investments in “me” and what are vain attempts to hold on to my youth (no judgement here)? Where can I reclaim some time and money? If I do not consciously decide, there is a never ending line of people waiting to take my time and money in my pursuit of “my best self.”
Things that might not be worth it
So I have started to give some thought to why I do what I do, how each aligns with my values, and do I need to make any changes.
First, I have realized I really, really do not want to go gray. Maybe if I could wake up and have long, beautiful silver hair I would be OK. But I find this slow, steady march toward gray demoralizing. The fading of my skin and hair…not loving it! At the same time, for someone who prizes health above almost all else, I hate the chemicals used to color my hair. I also hate sitting there while it is colored, and it costs a lot! So I am actively looking for alternatives, which I will be sure to pass along. And there is always the chance I just accept and welcome those grays.
I also tint my eyebrows. I do it because, like my hair, my eyebrows have lost some of their natural color and I feel like I look washed out. But, again, every 4 weeks it is one more appointment and one more cost. I do not think I am done for good but I will probably only do for vacations and special events going forward.
Filler. I do not like to look tired which is why I started using filler a few years ago. Hopefully no one can tell as I believe it makes me look less tired. But again, it is expensive and painful! And is yet another appointment. And recently I had a bad reaction which meant I had to go back numerous times to get it fixed, which just meant more time. I think I am done with filler. The Botox around my eyes I will keep doing as it will prevent more wrinkles and the occasional laser treatment but that is enough.
And then there are the regular pedicures. Years ago I stopped getting pedicures late fall through winter, except for the holidays when I might wear sandals. I love not having to schedule it in and not sitting there waiting for the polish to dry.
Things I never question
As I started down this path of reflection, I realized there are certain activities I never question. One of these is exercise. I will always exercise. Period. The health and longevity benefits are proven and in terms of looking and feeling youthful, nothing beats it. The same goes for stretching. Limber joints and muscles mean I have a greater chance of doing the activities I love for longer.
I also get acupuncture and see a chiropractor once a month. It is like getting a tune-up for your car. These things help me physically live the life I desire. Prioritizing sleep and twice yearly checkups at the dentist also are non-negotiable.
My other non-negotiables:
Time spent cooking healthy meals
Time with my husband and kids
Time with friends
Time reading
Cold plunge 3-4/week
Things I have basically got rid of
Some of these might seem strange to find in this article but I see them as items which detract from my overall health.
Social media. I just do not like how I feel when I use it, other than occasionally looking for recipes.
Random newsletters and non-essential mailing lists, especially fashion related ones as they lead me to waste time and buy things I do not need.
Added sugar. It is just bad.
Comparison to others. It is my life and while I do not always know what will make me happy, I do know that letting others decide for me is not the path to happiness.
Parting Thought…
Accepting aging is sometimes hard, particularly the physical piece. All I know is I want to do it as gracefully as possible as it is inevitable.
To be continued…
