The Triple Crown: Peace, Calm, Stillness
One thing is certain, my tastes are changing as I move through midlife. I find I increasingly desire and seek out more peace, calm, and stillness in my life.
It doesn’t mean there are not times when I crave the energy of a crowded, buzzing restaurant or the intensity of a workout which leaves me gasping for breath and drenched in sweat. But I sense there is another level of richness to life and a deeper connection to myself which can only be accessed through greater peace, less franticness, and a place of stillness.
Like an explorer, it is exciting to believe there are new areas of life to be explored. And I am curious to know how these discoveries will influence the choices and decisions I make as journey through midlife.
You may be thinking, aren’t these all the same? I don’t think so. Each reveals its own secrets. But how you find each, is as unique as each person.
Why?
I have been trying to figure out why I desire more peace, calm, and stillness. My conclusion? There is not one reason but rather a multitude of factors.
I want to:
be able to hear myself think.
live in harmony and to feel grounded.
move through life aligned with my values.
give myself a chance to connect with what is important.
be less reactive.
take a break from the negativity and the fractured feeling I get from social media and the news.
go deeper and not spread myself too thin or give my attention too freely.
give myself a chance to rest and recharge; and to remind myself not to get depleted in the first place.
explore the inner world of my thoughts, feelings, and ideas.
Having identified what I want more of, I now need to figure out how to get it.
Peace
My desire for peace is a desire for equanimity and balance.
I don’t want to be pulled in a thousand different directions nor do I want to take pride in multi-tasking (which has been debunked anyway). I want to differentiate between urgent and important. And to be thoughtfully responsive not emotionally reactive.
It means not letting my ego be the guide when making decisions.
It means spending more time in nature, feeling connected to the universe and the energy which connects all things. It means mountain biking and hiking without music so I can hear the sounds of nature.
It means finding time to be near water which is apparently more powerful than being in green spaces.
It means being where I can hear the birds chirp. Sleeping and waking in alignment with the rising and setting of the sun.
It is walking through my silent house at night, after everyone else is in bed. Or, reading in bed, held in the yellow pool of light from my bedside lamp.
It means learning to use the power of my breath to stay centered and grounded.
And it is spending more time with people I love.
Calm
My desire for calmness is reflected in my desire to move at a slower pace. To not be as demanding of myself physically. To live an orderly versus chaotic life.
I want to spend more time stand up paddle boarding, exploring Qi Gong, doing yoga, and stretching before bed.
I want to nurture and treat myself with respect. I want to give my body the rest and recovery it needs, having found as I have gotten older, I need more recovery time.
It means taking the time to build rituals into my day. Rituals to help me be more present, appreciate life’s little moments, and transition from one activity to the next.
It means reminding myself my time is precious and saying no more than yes.
Stillness
My desire for stillness is because it is the path to explore my inner world and reflect on my life.
Stillness brings perspective. And it helps me ensure harmony between mind, body, and soul.
It is found submerging myself in a bathtub. My weight supported by the water, conscious only of my breathing.
It is found through meditation, journaling, and breathwork. As well as through books like The Way of Integrity by Martha Beck and Stillness is the Key and Ego is the Enemy, both by Ryan Holiday.
Parting Thought
Even as I find myself seeking more peace, calm, and stillness there are times I wonder if I am becoming someone completely different. Which freaks me out a little. When this happens, I try to see myself like an onion, with many different layers but still part of the same whole.
What are you seeking which is different?
See you next week…
