OK Summer, My Turn Now
It is SO quiet and I could not be happier. My kids are at school and my husband is at the office. I’m sitting in my favorite chair, with a cup of tea, my laptop balanced on my legs. I am utterly and blissfully alone…finally.
I try hard to live in the moment and to be present. I believe every moment we are alive is a precious gift. And to wish away time is a waste of something valuable. Having said that, for the last few weeks I have secretly been wishing for summer to end.
I love summer and eagerly look forward to it every year. And it is for all the reasons I look forward to it I wish for it to end. Every year at the end of May when summer is peaking around the corner, I start to get excited for our annual trip back east and weekends in Tahoe, for freedom from the school year routine and for warmer, longer days which promise more time outside. But by mid-August, I want to be home, to sleep in my own bed and to have a more predictable schedule. My kids are bored and in need of structure and my skin has had enough sun.
Don’t get me wrong, our summer was good. We saw family and friends, we were able to experiment working from the East Coast, and we had some great adventures.
But it is time to say goodbye to the happy chaos of summer and its many distractions as September is here.
Routine, I love You
After the freedom of summer, I’m craving a routine. I want more predictability day-to-day and to fall back into habits and routines which are the foundation of our life. I’m tired of being Julie McCoy, the Cruise Director, having to figure out what happens next. I want my life back now.
Routines bring order. And as Ryan Holliday says, “order is a prerequisite of excellence.” Routines encourage productive work. A routine allows for planning and completion of to-dos and goals. And at the end of the day, I love feeling productive and working toward my goals.
It is often said women in midlife are pulled in a million directions all the time. It’s funny how I often feel this most toward the end of summer. During the summer my husband and I are trying to hold down “normal” work hours while my kids are on a teenager schedule, which is not 9 – 5! They are constantly interrupting to check-in (a good thing) or ask for a ride. Or coming in to let me know they are home by curfew. This, too, is good but easier on a weekend night, not a random Tuesday at 11, when I’ve been sound asleep for at least an hour.
I want my kids in school. I don’t want to plan activities for them, think about what they are doing or wonder where they are on any given day of the week. I want my husband to go to the office a couple of times a week (it’s not that I don’t love you, but you have one and I don’t). I want to know Monday through Friday, starting at 8:15, the house will be quiet, and I can work without interruption.
By the end of summer, the pendulum has swung too far toward chaos, and it is time for it to swing back towards order!
The Power of Silence & Solitude
“Silence is refreshment for the soul.” - Wynonna Judd
These past few months have been a constant barrage of family time, social commitments, emails, texts, reading books and articles and listening to podcasts for Holos. I am suffering from what Chris Kressor calls “solitude deprivation.” By which he means “being free from input from other sources and minds.”
I crave silence and solitude like a man dying from thirst. I need it to recharge and replenish, to feel centered and grounded, to feel whole, not scattered. Spending time in silence might be the ultimate way to nurture oneself.
I want to wake up to an empty house, the only sound the birds chirping outside. I want to leisurely do my gratitude practice, meditate, and then go for a walk in the early morning light. I want a day of no appointments or commitments.
I want to sit at my computer, alone with my thoughts and write, uninterrupted. I want to read a book, to savor the author’s words, to pause and reflect on their meaning. I don’t want to utter a single word the whole day.
I want a quiet space and time to think deeply because as Thomas Carlyle said, “thought will not work except in silence.” I believe as Ryan Holliday says in Stillness is the Key “If we want more revelations – more insights or breakthroughs or new, big ideas - we have to create more room for them. We have to step away from the comfort of noisy distractions and stimulations.”
Through silence and solitude, I will find peace and the energy to engage meaningfully with the world around me once again.
Parting Thought
Come next May, I will be chomping at the bit for summer. For my kids to be able sleep in, to not be ruled by a schedule, to enjoy the freedom of summer. In the meantime, I’m going to enjoy my routine and the silence and solitude when everyone is at school and the office. I hope this fall brings you whatever you might need.
See you next week…
