How Full Is Your Cup?
Once again, the holidays, while fun, left me depleted and tired. I think it is the combination of shopping, cooking, getting the house ready, guests and everything else which gets thrown into the holidays. I love it and yet I am already making plans to do it different next year…I must as the exhaustion detracts from a time of year which I love.
So here I am on January 10th focused on recovering. As Emily Fletcher says, “You cannot pour from an empty cup.”
As a mom, a boss, a leader of a team or any of the other hats we wear, it is too easy to always put other’s needs first. So, I am here to officially declare it is not selfish to think of yourself first (at least some of the time). Not only is it critical for functioning at your highest level but nurturing your body, mind, and soul will enable you to give generously to others.
Ways to Keep Your Cup Full
Keeping your cup full is the best investment you can make in yourself. There are many ways to do this and below are some of my favorite strategies.
Take time for yourself
Step outside the busyness of your life. Do something just for you. Believe your needs are as important as the needs of others.
For me this means not being available all the time. For example, when I sit down to work on Holos I keep my phone on silent unless I am expecting a call. I also do this when I go for a walk before dinner to clear my mind.
I also like to find time to be alone. This is a big one for me. I am taking 4 days alone next week to recharge, recenter, and “just be.”
Do things which bring you joy
This is one way to prevent burnout and to make yourself happier. I also love this because you are doing it just for yourself…there is no end game other than bringing yourself joy.
For me this might mean getting a pedicure, even though it is winter, and no one will see my toes. It is taking half an hour to read or getting outside whenever I can. I love candlelight and like to walk around my house at dusk and light the candles in every room.
My mother-in-law starts every day in the summer with a cup of coffee and a walk around her garden. These moments don’t have to be big.
Invest in your mental and physical health
Commit to being more active and getting outside. A 30-minute walk can satisfy both goals. Or commit to doing a workout you enjoy at least 2/week. Or if that feels like too much of a time commitment, do the 7 Minute Workout, dance to your favorite song, or do an exercise snack every hour. Exercise snacks are short bursts of activity, 30 seconds to 2 minutes. Great snacks are air squats, lunges, jumping jacks, and pushups.
Feed your body nourishing food. As you think about what to eat start with what vegetable(s), then protein and then starches. Eat less sugar, drink a little less alcohol, and cut back on caffeine. This month I am not drinking during the week as I felt I could use a little break.
Get some extra sleep. Try going to bed a few minutes earlier or not waking up to an alarm if you can do so. Prioritize your sleep over everything else for a week. See how much better you feel.
Try meditation. Meditation is powerful because it helps you be in the present moment. It calms the mind and is deeply relaxing for the body. Healthine says there are 9 different types of meditation: mindfulness, spiritual, focused, movement, mantra (this is the one I practice), transcendental, progressive, loving-kindness, and visualization. Somewhere in this list is one you might like. I find if I do 3 – 20 minutes each day the more prepared I am for the day ahead.
Practice gratitude. Regularly practicing gratitude has been linked to increased resiliency during stressful or challenging times. Plus, it also feels good to notice and register the good things in my life. Check out this past article for tips on practicing gratitude.
Find moments of quiet
I would argue we all need some quiet time. It is when we can check-in on ourselves and collect our thoughts. Introverts might need more than extroverts, but we all benefit from it. I usually find mine driving in the car with the radio off, on my morning walk around the block, or lying in bed before I get up doing my gratitude practice.
Spend time with friends
Good friends are like drinking a glass of water when you are thirsty. Spending time or talking with them makes you feel happier, refreshed, and full of love. If they don’t make you feel this way, you might need to find other friends. In the winter I like to ski with friends.
Say yes judiciously
Seek out and say yes only to commitments which align with your values or vision for your life. Don’t say yes too often or these commitments become things to be checked off a to-do list rather than filling your cup.
And remember, if you are always committed to other obligations, it is hard to have time for yourself. Saying no is easier if you can link it back to your goals and it does get easier with practice. You are not missing out on something by saying no if it isn’t helping you make progress in the rest of your life.
I recently passed on joining a non-profit board. It was flattering to be asked which appealed to my ego; however, in my heart I knew it wasn’t going to help me reach the goals I have set for myself.
Consume less media
Take a break from too much input. If you are constantly being bombarded by information, you simply don’t have time to process it all and it can lead to feeling overwhelmed. Think about quality or quantity. I recently did a news audit and unsubscribed from a couple of newsletters which were either redundant or to which I never got around to reading.
Ask others for help
Don’t feel you have to do everything yourself (although honestly it sometimes does feel easier). Find the things you know others can do just as well. For me these are often the mundane things like washing the dishes and cooking. And if it isn’t done exactly the way I would do it, well I will probably live.
Parting Thought
I want to be generous in every aspect of my life. I find I can be more generous as well as a better wife, mother, friend, and colleague when I have taken care of myself first. As I move through the next couple of months my goal is keep this in mind and keep my own cup full.
See you next week…
