Feminine v. Masculine

Feminine and masculine…two words which evoke strong emotions. I have become interested over the last couple of years in the topic of feminine and masculine energy and how I have utilized each throughout my life. Without knowing much about this topic, my intuition says I have over emphasized masculine energy and relied on it for much of my past success.

But for some time now, I have felt a pull to embrace more of my feminine energy in order to bring more balance to my life. Masculine and feminine energy are two sides of the same coin. It is by learning to balance the two that we can tap into our true potential and power as well as experience a feeling of completeness which is not otherwise possible. This is true for men, women, and society.

It is not always clear to me how to recognize, nurture, and employ more feminine energy in my life. And candidly I have not always respected the qualities of feminine energy as much as they deserve. And so, I have turned to others for guidance in my quest for more balance.

So, if you are like me and want more balance or are just curious about a topic which seems to be popping up everywhere, I hope you enjoy this interview with Erica Smigielski. Erica is a pure generator. She responds to life by generating energy for others to find meaning in life. She's the host of the Soulful Soundbites podcast and provides practical and relatable ways to nourish your soul. She holds Sacred Circles that bring women together to nurture themselves through a personal awakening. And as a Depth Hypnosis and Applied Shamanic Practitioner, she guides individuals to access and heal imbalances within their psyche.

And most importantly, she is passionate about this topic!

Karyn: First, what is meant by the Divine Feminine?

Erica: I like to think of the Divine Feminine as the magical mystery of feminine energy. It is a universal knowing of something sacred which extends beyond any religion or belief system.

Karyn: How do people usually differentiate between feminine and masculine energy?

Erica: It really depends on how aware someone is with these terms or concepts. Many people have not consciously differentiated between the two. And when they do, they default to thinking of them as roles, for example leader v. supporter or bread winner v. housewife. The terms tend to be polarizing which reflects our collective humanity right now.

Karyn: What traits or behaviors are typically associated with feminine versus masculine?

Erica: A discussion of these traits gets more interesting when you move past the level of roles and the more polarizing definitions. When I think of masculine v. feminine I think of:

Masculine energy as the more physical aspects of our being which is characterized by traits like supporter, stabilizer, provider, problem solver, fixer, and builder.

While feminine energy encompasses the more emotional and softer aspects of our being, and is characterized by traits like wisdom, inner knowing, expansiveness, mystical, intuitive, compassionate, and nurturing.

Karyn: It often seems society does not honor or reward the traits of feminine energy, why is this?

Erica: In recent history, western culture has rewarded productivity and doing, leading and building teams/empires, growth at all costs, and prioritized an externally oriented reward system. But it wasn’t always this way. Thousands of years ago, women were honored for their wisdom and knowing. They were healers and regarded with respect and admiration.

Unfortunately, over time societies got larger which required more structure, industrialization, and technology which introduced more hierarchy. Eventually this structure crowded out the role of wisdom and intuition. The pendulum has swung too far and now we find ourselves in a place where we have lost touch with feminine energy.

However, I think we are in a transitional time. Many belief systems and prophecies, from astrologers to the Mayans to the Vedic’s to the Cherokees and Hopis, talk about this transitional era. All of their stories share common themes of societies at a time of reckoning because they have been driven by a need for more, more, and more…they are over structured…and there is too much masculinity.

We are now in the process of breaking this down and returning to a place to honor and respect feminine energy. One of my favorite examples of this in the business setting is the founder of Patagonia, Yvon Chouinard, who has directed all profits to fight climate change. Another great example is Lynne Twist, the author of Living A Committed Life. I recently heard her speak and she shared how she is meeting with influential and highly regarded male CEOs who want to learn about bringing more feminine energy into the work setting.

Karyn: What are signs someone is out of balance one way or the other?

Erica: Everyone has both masculine and feminine tendencies and qualities. An imbalance can feel like depletion, exhaustion, a sense of desperation, or loss. It might even feel like you are kind of stuck or moving robotically through life. I notice an imbalance when I get into a “get shit done” mode. I just want to cross things off my list, and I usually find myself collapsing, exhausted, into bed at night.

Karyn: A lot of women in midlife are starting to question the way they have been living their lives and would like to explore strategies to tap into their feminine energy, how can they do this?

Erica: I love this question as I am right in the middle of it myself! Prior to midlife I believe a lot of what was required of us relied on more masculine energy. Then we get to our mid-40s and 50s and we find ourselves with more time and space to just “be.” It is an opportunity to look back, see what we have learned from past experiences and identify what wisdom we can take from them.

A great resource for me has been The New Return of the Great Mother, by Isa Gucciardi. This book has helped me remember and reconnect with my divine feminine. She  talks about the significance of sacred initiations a woman’s body goes through, like menopause.

And when I think of nurturing my own feminine energy, I like to create rituals that force me to slow down and make something special out of something tactical. For example, by starting my morning with writing or making my coffee with care rather than just shooting out of bed and into my day.

I also like rest as a form of restoration, which might be as simple as finding a moment to be still. To sit with my eyes closed and take a few deep breaths to center myself, even if only for 20 seconds.

Karyn: Can you recommend any resources for people who would like to further explore this topic or harness more of their wonderful feminine energy?

Erica: As I mentioned earlier, The New Return to the Great Mother by Isa Gucciardi, PhD and Living A Committed Life by Lynne Twist. I also found Magdalene Mysteries by Seren Bertrand to be an eye opener as it looks at feminine energy from both the male and female perspectives.

Parting Thought

From Erica: I want to share a story from Lyn Twist, about living in harmony and balance, about the need for both masculine and feminine energy.

In the Baha’i teachings, the bird of humanity is used as a metaphor for society. One wing represents feminine energy and one wing masculine energy. Society today has only been using its masculine wing which has grown so strong and is flapping faster and faster, but it is making us go in circles. We need to embrace and strengthen our use of feminine energy, the feminine wing, so we can fly effortlessly and take off and soar.  

You can connect with Erica on LinkedIn, Instagram, or here.

To be continued…