Can We Have Pancakes For Breakfast?
As I neared 50, I became obsessed with the idea of finding my purpose in life. I read books like Simon Sinek’s Find Your Why and countless other articles. But to be honest, trying to find my unique purpose in life stresses me out. What if I don’t have a BIG purpose in life?
What if instead, finding purpose is about all the small decisions and actions we take each day? And these collectively add up to a purposeful life. If these decisions and actions are made with intention and in alignment with one’s values isn’t this living a purposeful life? I was reflecting on this the other day when my youngest asked me, as he often does, “Can we have pancakes for breakfast?”
On the surface, “Can we have pancakes for breakfast” is a simple question. But in truth it is not. Every time I am asked this question, I pause. I don’t give an immediate answer because I am weighing many different factors before I decide “yes” or “no.” The question is a surprising exercise in understanding my values and an example of the little purposeful decisions we make every day.
Nutrition and Balance
First, there is the nutritional piece. My kids love pancakes, I love pancakes, who doesn’t love pancakes? But pancakes are typically made of refined flour, butter, and milk. As a health nut I have a hard time feeding these to my kids. My solution? Hack the hell out of the traditional pancake recipe. I use oat flour instead of refined white flour, I use non-dairy milk instead of cow’s milk and coconut oil instead of butter.
My kids love chocolate chip pancakes the most. So, our deal is three chocolate chips per pancake and no syrup. I up the protein by using 4 eggs and encourage them to put peanut butter on top.
Then there is the question of balance. What is for dinner later that night? What will they have for lunch? What did we have for dinner last night?
Because of pancakes somewhat dubious nutritional benefit, their place on the weekly menu depends a lot on what else we are eating or have eaten. Pizza the night before, then no way are we having pancakes for breakfast. I try to focus on the big picture and not so much the individual meal, and yet the big picture is made up of all the little pieces.
Rituals, Connection and Love
Pancakes also make me think about the importance of rituals and traditions. My mom died a few years ago and making pancakes for my kids makes me think of her. Growing up she made pancakes for us every Saturday morning. So, when I make pancakes, I keep her memory alive for my kids.
If you ask my boys, they will tell you she made the best pancakes in the world! Little do they know it was because she used white flour, butter, and buttermilk…which was OK with me as grandmothers get special privileges.
Then there is the fact, cooking serves many purposes in our lives. In addition to satisfying our hunger, it brings people together. Being with my kids in the kitchen while I am cooking or seated around the kitchen table for a meal are some of my favorite moments with them. Meals are like hitting the pause button.
For a few minutes I have my boys’ undivided attention. At breakfast I ask what they are doing in school or if they have any tests. I hear about how they slept or any funny dreams they had the night before. At dinner, it’s a chance to catch up on everyone’s day, to hear about lacrosse or flag football. To answer their question, “How was your day mom?” These questions are part of what binds us together as a family. I fear without meals to bring us together, when would we connect?
And finally, there is love. When I cook for my kids, I am saying “I love you.” I learned this from my mom. I think of pancakes as the food equivalent of a warm hug. And I believe you can never have too many hugs. And, there are some days a stack of warm pancakes, fresh off the griddle, is the only thing which will do. And what better way to say, “I love you.”
So, back to the original question, “Can we have pancakes?” I usually say yes. This makes my son’s day and mine. He is excited to have pancakes. And I feel good knowing my decision was intentional and aligned with my values. And who knows, maybe I will find my BIG purpose someday while eating a stack of pancakes!
Parting Thought
“When your values are clear to you, making decisions comes easier.” Roy E. Disney
See you next week…
